Andrew's Blog


A City Boy Making His Way in the Country

Carpet removal. And possible tetanus.

Who created these devices? To elaborate, they are pieces of wood with numerous sharp nail-like talons on one side and large nails protruding from the other. They are used to lay carpet. I don’t believe they started in this profession. At some point, they had to have been used in the Spanish Inquisition or Mexican-Amerian War. Maybe Judd Hirsch invented them. God I hate him!

You would think, in this glorious decade, in the 2010s, that someone would’ve invented a better way to lay carpet. Why do we still use these demonic tack strips? Maybe because of the Diablo himself. They are inane, cruel, and better suited for use in a developing country. Somewhere that knows no better.

If you can do better, you should. We are past the point of nails on wood. Or one would think so. Today, while pulling up these medieval devices, I was stabbed in the multiple fingers one or two times. Maybe I have tetanus. Who knows?! Isn’t that part of the fun?

Today I declare the need for more humane carpet installation techniques! Isn’t there a velcro or glue or heavy-ply that can lie on its own? Hardwood floor installation doesn’t face such difficulty. Laminate? A breeze. Cement floors? Paint ‘em. Let us raise our voices and decry this unnecessary nailing excess. We are American afterall!

 

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