Today, Orchard House is full. We have a full house – like the sitcom of my youth. Minus, of course, the sketchy comedic uncle in the basement . We have a water purifier down there, and lots of spiders. But upstairs, the rooms are full. There are also chocolate chip cookies and some finches singing, one can only guess, their rendition of Cocamo.
Seven people in one house is a lot. For anyone! Except perhaps, those people who have TLC reality shows. But, then again, I want one of those shows. My llamas deserve their time in the sun! And with a house full of guests and about a million animals, we can easily beat 19 and Counting.
You would think cooking breakfast for three separate groups of people would be difficult, like a short-order cook at a diner, but it’s easy. It’s all in the preparation. Isn’t that a saying? Sounds like something Danny Tanner, or Benjamin Franklin, would say. And cleaning isn’t that hard either. Granted cleaning has become my own personal Brussels Sprout, or communist Russia, but I will persevere. If those two little Olsen twins can own a production company at 12, then I can clean a house with three bedrooms.
The animals have been acting weird lately. And by animals, I mean the pig Bacon. He keeps trying to “mount” Winston the alpaca. Biting his legs, jumping him from the side, or from the back. If we had an HR department there would definitely be some complaining going on. Bacon is spoiled. He obviously thinks he’s Babe or someone. Word Bacon, you’re not Babe. You’re more Pumbaa, minus the adorable meerkat sidekick. But I guess an alpaca could be considered a really big meerkat. At least Stephanie would say so! And then Kimmie would say something smug and witty back at her. And that is America.